Life has a funny way of taking us down roads we never even knew existed. Sometimes those roads are twisty, bumpy and dark; they leave us with an uneasy feeling and a desire to get back to familiar pathways. Other times we are traveling on smooth, fragrant and sun-drenched roads that leave us feeling refreshed and renewed. Either way, you are in the driver’s seat.
We can’t control everything around us, more specifically, we can even admit that control is an illusion, set to trap us into thinking that perfection exists this side of heaven. Metaphorically speaking, if you were being taken down a path you do not want to be on you still get to make the choice not to be there, you can choose to leave that path. (This of course is different for survivors of abuse, there are situations that I need to make others aware of that leave a person not only feeling helpless but many times hopeless.) But when we are talking about relationships, family, friendships, our jobs, and generally our lives, we do have choices. We get to decide how we respond, what we allow, and what remains in our lives. We must choose to pursue the lives we want, to live purposefully.
It isn’t easy to change. So many of us resist change in every possible way, but change is inevitable. And, you are better at it than you think you are. Every day is a new day, every day you make minor changes to the way you live. Whether its how you got out of bed, what you had for breakfast, the dinner you plan to make, the calls you answered… there is change in every day. You don’t even realize that. You are so used to these minute changes that they have become second nature, and you are so good at transitioning through them that they cause no distress. Sometimes our lives require bigger changes. Sometimes we realize that relationships aren’t healthy, perhaps they are even toxic. Or maybe, you realized that you just can’t continue living the way you have been. Recognizing it is the first step to change, but after that, you have to pursue the change. I have never known anyone who said, “I know I need to change the filter on our drinking water, so I will wait for it to change.” When you know the filter needs to be replaced, you change it… why? Because that’s how change happens, you take an active role in the change. While that might sound like a silly analogy, we all know its true. Many people want their lives to be different, but few people want to change to achieve the life they want.
We must choose to be purposeful in our living. To decide what we expose our hearts, minds, bodies and souls to. We must not only be aware, but active in ridding our lives of toxicity. It can manifest in the forms of relationships, in lack of self-care, in addictions and impulses; toxicity often tells you that its your fault and nothing will ever get better. But it will only stay this way as long as you allow it to. Read that again. Right now, you have the ability to change course. You have the ability to pursue a different life, one that is healthy and fulfilling. You have the ability to put an end to the toxic things in your life and set healthy boundaries. You have the ability to find peace, love and happiness. More than that, you deserve to live a life you will love. You deserve good (and healthy) things. Read that again. Regardless of what you have done in your life, the mistakes you have made, the past you can’t change, you deserve good things.
The good news is, you can make those changes now. You do not have to wait; you can literally say to yourself I am done with this road and find another. You can turn anything around. Sometimes tragedy takes us down roads that are dark too, and sometimes its okay to be in the darkness for a little while, because honestly, sometimes sitting in the darkness allows the pain to absolve and for us to gain our hope back by focusing on the sliver of light we see ahead. You do not need to feel rushed to pursue your purpose; you get to choose how to live your life and when you want to make the changes. But change begins with you. If you do not know where to start you can always reach out to someone who can walk alongside you for this journey. The beauty of this life is that each day we are given new chances. You get to decide what your journey will ultimately look like; truth, you will come across darkness, everyone does. You will hit some road bumps, everyone does. But when you pursue your purpose the only one that can stand in the way of achieving it is you.
Declare your purpose and pursue it fervently.