Back to school can be an extremely stressful time for all children, even more so for those who struggle with mental health. It can create and complicate anxiety, depression, phobias, and more. Childhood mental health is crucial, and while we have made progress, we are far from “having it right.” So many of our youth today hear things like, “what do you have to be stressed about?” “Just suck it up and stop whining…” “its all in your head.” Reaching out for help isn’t even an option for many, because when they have made attempts, they have been immediately shut down. School counselors are over-crowded, often with hundreds of students to one counselor. Teachers are not properly trained, and parents are often ill-equipped; they don’t know where to turn for help or they think their child should have perfect days.
Our kids are faced with so many pressures. Social roles, grades, extra-curricular activities, home lives, siblings, friendships, and more. Yet they are often expected to never be tired (or act as if they are), to never have bad moods (because, I mean let’s face it, bad moods are unacceptable), and to always do their best. But what if their best is simply making it through the day? What if their genuine best was having that meltdown instead of retreating internally and feeling like they just want to die?
1 in 5 children/youth will or currently have a serious mental health diagnosis. Most lifetime cases begin by the age of 14. The sad part is, they typically go an average of 8 to 10 years without intervention or treatment.
We must do better.
Statistically speaking, 20% of our youth live with a mental health condition, 11% have mood disorders (like depression), 10% have a behavioral disorder, and 8% have anxiety disorders. In our youth, aged 10-24, suicide is the THIRD (3rd) leading cause of death, and 90% of those who died by suicide had an underlying mental illness.
We MUST do better.
Of course, there are warning signs or symptoms, including but not limited to:
Feeling sad or withdrawn (2 weeks+)
Sudden and overwhelming fear
Intense worry that gets in the way of daily activities
Drastic changes in behavior
Difficulty concentrating or staying still
Severe mood swings
If you notice any of these, or even a change in your child that is not normal for them or their character, talk to them. Even if you don’t know what to say, just being present and supportive is crucial to them. You can say things like:
I am here to listen.
Do you want to share with me?
What can I do to help right now?
You are not alone.
You can talk to their pediatrician or primary care provider who can give you referrals. You can seek help from a mental health professional/therapist. You can work with their school and you can look to connect with other families.
Childhood mental health is important and our kids and youth face more than many of us could ever understand. Many of them carry the burdens of their home, schools, peers and more on their shoulders. They are going through major life transitions and they do not know where to turn, or that there is help. Mental illness is treatable. Suicide is preventable. We can do better for our kids and teach them that emotions are normal, that its okay to struggle but its not okay to get stuck. We can teach them that they have a voice and they are important. That their struggles are real and matter. We can show them that we are there for them and help them through the darkness. Our kids and youth deserve to be heard and loved, regardless of what they might have going on emotionally. They deserve to have people in their corners who are supportive and understanding and will help them help themselves. They deserve to know that, even the darkness doesn’t last forever, because just as the sun sets every evening, it also rises every morning.
Child/Youth Anxiety scale:
https://depts.washington.edu/dbpeds/Screening%20Tools/ScaredChild-final.pdf
Child/Youth Depression Scale:
https://depts.washington.edu/dbpeds/Screening%20Tools/PHQ9.pdf
*Statistics taken from:
https://www.nami.org/NAMI/media/NAMI-Media/Infographics/Children-MH-Facts-NAMI.pdf