What therapy is and who I am as a therapist:

Therapy is a place that you can come to be fully yourself. You can say what you need to say, feel whatever you need to feel, and trust that your therapist will hold a nonjudgmental and safe space for you to process. One of the things I like to go over with clients in our initial consultation call is who I am as a therapist, because let’s face it, we are all different, and what they can expect out of the therapy process with me. So, if you are here reading and are curious, let me do my best to explain myself and my process. 

As a therapist I promise to show up and be authentically me. I promise to be transparent with you, to challenge you to grow, and to guide you in your journey. I promise to model a healthy, loving and encouraging relationship with and for you, and that I will always be in your corner cheering you on and believing in you. I promise to hold hope for you, even and especially when, the hurt threatens to overtake any hope you might have had. I promise to work my hardest to help you reach your goals and write a story you will love being a part of. I promise to not make any empty promises. 

As a therapist I act as a guide, and you are the expert. I come alongside you and help you navigate your life currently, how the past has influenced the present, and how you would like to mold yourself to create a future that you look forward to. I will utilize a wide range of techniques, tools, and modalities to help you reach your goals. And I will work my hardest,but I can’t and won’t work harder than you. This means you must be willing to do the hard work, make the changes you want to make, and try new things. We might not always get it right, but we will always try, and if you are committed to the process, I can promise the process works. When we discuss what a therapist and therapy is, we also need to discuss what a therapist and therapy is not. 

As your therapist I am not a miracle worker or magician. I say this with love. I can’t magically make everything better, and I can’t work out all your problems. What I can do though, is help you navigate life, give you healthy alternatives and encourage you to grow and change to be a healthier and thriving you. I do not have a magic wand and coming to therapy isn’t a miracle answer. Therapy is hard work. It’s a place where you lay it all down, you sort through the hard stuff, you cry, you get angry, you want to give up. You question why you chose to do this, and if you should continue. But therapy works. That I can also promise. Therapy is messy and beautiful, and all the good things life should be. It teaches you to see yourself through new eyes, and it helps you to focus on the things that are most important. Therapy is painful. We are talking about all the things you typically avoid, and each week I challenge you with a new concept to try outside of session. Stagnation has no place in therapy. Even when it seems like we are stuck, there is work being done. And if you get to a place with a therapist where you feel like there isn’t work being done, address it. As a therapist I don’t have all the answers, and I am not always right. I have a genuine and empathic heart. I have strong intuition and often lean on that when I go out on limbs trying to connect the dots. I have years of training, and on-going training that equips me to help you in this process. While I don’t like labels, and I never have, I am able to diagnose and utilize the diagnosis as a lens to formulate the best possible treatment plan for you. But I promise to do that with you. I promise to discuss goals and to do my best to understand what you ultimately want to achieve through therapy. 

As your therapist, I am unlike other people in your life. I am not your friend, though it may feel that way. Trust me when I say, there have been clients, and I believe there always will be, that I could see as friends in different circumstances. Its normal to feel this way. We meet regularly, you share openly and honestly with me, I listen and reflect on what you tell me, I challenge you to grow and do so with love and admiration for who you already are. I genuinely care for every single client. And it is not something I can turn off when session ends. As a therapist, I think about clients outside of therapy. I pray for them, sometimes I will even check on them if my heart tells me to reach out. I want the best for you, and I am honored that I get to be part of the process. It is my job to model healthy boundaries for you,but that doesn’t mean I won’t celebrate if you call or text just to tell me something exciting. I guarantee I will scream with you in joy and celebration. Or, if something horrible happens, I will be there to sit with you and allow you to cry or simply be. Sometimes, I will even cry with you, because I am human too, and when you hurt, I hurt. As your therapist, I promise to see you fully. For whom you are, and who you have the potential to become. And I promise that, as long as you will allow me, I will work with you to create the life you want. 

As your therapist I promise to create a safe, loving, nonjudgmental and life-changing space for you. I promise to hold hope. I promise to sort through the hurt. I promise to guide you in the process. I want you to know that this isn’t my job, it’s my passion and calling, and I believe that God led me to this to help and to be a beacon of hope and light in the darkness. I won’t always get it right, I will make mistakes, sometimes I will be sick or need to cancel, or be gone on trainings, or take time off to be with my family, but what I can promise you is that while you continue your process I will be here. As long as you and God allow me to be, I will walk alongside you and cheer you on every step of the way. 

I might not have all the answers, but I promise to always do my best to understand you, encourage you, and guide you with truth and love. Therapy might not be magical, but magic does happen when we allow someone else the chance to fully be seen.

A Therapists Year-End Review: A Letter from a therapist.

Looking back on this year I am still in shock that it is already coming to an end. I was joking with several clients that I feel like most of us are still processing 2020, and yet 2022 is right around the corner. It often seems that way though, at the close of a chapter with something new on the horizon, we tend to reflect on what we are leaving behind, and what we are heading toward. 

As I end this year, one word comes to mind. Grateful. I have had a full year of owning and operating my private practice. This is the first time in years that I haven’t held multiple jobs and I have trusted that God would provide. It hasn’t always been easy, and there have been a few times I was tempted to take a corporate position for the ease and stability, but I never had peace about it. So, I stayed with it, and I am beyond grateful that I did. 

This year I have walked with so many who chose bravely and courageously to share their stories with me and trust me with the most intimate parts of themselves. They share things that they have never even spoken out loud, let alone to someone else. We have walked through incredible hurt, pain, grief, disappointment, trauma, anxiety, depression, and more. There were times when I held back tears for them, and times I simply couldn’t, and we shared in our universal understanding of one another. But that is not all that I saw this year. I saw tremendous triumph! I saw clients gain insight and awareness, I saw them lean into my interventions and push themselves outside of session to achieve their goals. I saw them increase their positive coping skills and let go of their old, harmful, maladaptive ways. I saw overcomers and achievers, and best of all, I saw the light in their eyes and the spark in their hearts when they finally understood something and believed in their own self-worth! I don’t think of them just as clients, I think of them as people I care deeply about. I root for them, I pray for them, I will always be their biggest cheerleader and the one person who models what a healthy, authentic, and transparent relationship looks like.  I see amazing people, and I am so honoredand so privileged and so thankful for each and every single client I have the pleasure of working with. This year I got to work with so many incredible people, and I am looking forward to what the new year has in store for our therapy journey and for their lives. 

As therapists I don’t think we often get to express just how much our clients mean to us, but as I was reflecting on my year and how I won’t see them again until 2022, I was thinking of the best possible way for me to honor them and express my gratitude. I know there are a multitude of therapists out there, ones who, let’s be honest, are probably often more equipped, have more experience or simply have a different expertise than I do, and yet my clients chose me. That honor is not wasted on me. One of the things I always tell my clients when we first begin sessions is that therapy can be hard, and that often things will feel worse before they feel better, but I tell them that if they can just hang on for the better, I promise to work my absolute hardest to get them there. Because they matter. Because their lives matter. Because their wellness, joy, and story matters. Not just to me, but to the world. Without them, the world wouldn’t be the same. And I am so grateful that I get to be a small part of their journey. So, in case any of my wonderful clients are reading this. Thank you. Thank you for choosing me. Thank you for allowing me to walk alongside you and to act as a guide in your journey. Thank you for trusting me and allowing me to hold hope for you. Thank you for investing in yourself. Thank you for taking that first courageous step and sticking with it. You are amazing. Truly. I am so glad that I am getting to know you and have walked this path with you, and I hope that one day when you are ready to walk it alone, you will never forget how fantastic you are. That when the day comes for us to say, “see you later,” you inherently know your worth, value, and have grace with yourself to continue to learn along the way. I hope that if my voice sticks with you, as some of you tell me it does, you hear me saying, “you are incredible, and I am so proud of you.” Because that is the truth. I am incredibly proud of you. 

This year has been a lot of things- it has been crazy, sad, hectic, busy, wonderful, amazing, inspiring, life-changing, and so much more. As I reflect back, I want to see all the good- that is what I want to remember going into the new year. We can’t change the past, but we can learn from it and allow it to guide us in creating a future we are excited about. We have learned a lot of lessons this year, and while some of them have been horrendous, I know that we have grown and will continue to grow through it. Because we are survivors. We are investing into ourselves so we can thrive and that is what defines us- not the fact that life has knocked us down, but the fact that we have valiantly chosen to rise! I believe in our ability to continue to rise and to truly thrive, and I am excited to see that manifest in the new year. 

Once again, thank you to all my amazing clients, you have made this year great and I am grateful for you.

At the end of each year, I like to do a personal year-end review. This helps me remain grateful for all the lessons learned, growth that has occurred, and reminds me of things I do not want to carry with me into the new year. First and foremost, if this is something you are interested in, its fairly simple. All you need is a journal, something to write with, and some time. Start by asking the following questions:

What are some wins, victories, and positive things that have happened this year?

What are some areas where I have seen substantial growth?

What are some areas that I am still actively working on?

What are some of the harder things I have walked through this year?

What are things I do not want to carry into the new year (this can be attitudes, behaviors, reactions/responses, negative coping skills, beliefs, even relationships)?

What/who am I grateful for?

What word would I like to see manifested in the new year (this can be anything like: growth, determination, intentionality, grace, hope, acceptance, etc)?

What is one step I can take this week that will help me work toward manifesting that word? 

How can I stay mindful of my goal word throughout the days, weeks, and months?

What are some good goals to set weekly/monthly/quarterly for myself?

Do I want to learn anything new this year?

Do I want to do anything new this year?

When I look back at the end of the year, what do I want to remember most?

 How can I take active steps to writing a story that I want to live and that I am excited about?

I always encourage everyone to take their time with this. Come back to it often; work a little and then let it be. This is not something you want to rush through, but rather something you want to be intentional about and really give thought and effort to. This is also a great thing to do in session if you are currently seeing a therapist. Either way, remember that there are no right answers, and at the end of the day, this is simply a guidepost to helping you start the year as a fresh book- writing the story you want, and not just accepting roles that have been handed to you, or that you’ve always played. You get to be the author this year, and you get to decide what your story is about. These questions are a great place to start that story. 

Parenting and Pandemics, Oh My.

It’s safe to say that the world we are living in now is very different from the world we knew, for many, even just a month ago. We have gone from over-crowded schedules to trying to figure out what to do with our time.

Our kids are no exception to this.

We have taught our children from early on to glorify busy. The more you do, the more that is on the calendar, the more you are involved in, the better life is. The truth is, many of us (myself included), often prayed for time. That time would slow down. That we would have more time with our children and family, that we would have more time to accomplish (fill in the blank).

Time is not our problem. What we find important is.

Our children are learning to navigate this in the same way you are, only they have a limited understanding of all that is taking place. If your home is anything like mine, we do not have cable, I do not watch the news (I check one news source daily online and limit my own exposure), and the only information the kids have is the information they overhear from us or that we share with them. But they are scared. They are worried. They are anxious. They are sad. They are dysregulated.

Their entire worlds have been flipped upside down and we are wondering why we see more behaviors, more acting out, more tantrums, more distancing or isolation… we question why they are responding this way, but are we taking the time to truly ask?

We are busy checking in with family, friends, neighbors… many of us even check in with community pages to see what needs we can help meet, but how many of us are checking in with our kids?

The reason I say time is not our problem is that we choose how to spend our time. Yes, schedules have changed. Our kids are not in school, many of us are home (more or all the time) and we are trying to fill our time. But what if we took that time and filled it with teaching our kids some healthy skills?

First: Connection. Do a daily check-in, ask the important questions. Teach them that they are allowed to have feelings and that their feelings matter. But also teach them that it isn’t okay to take your feelings out on others.

Implement a calm down area: put pillows, bean bags, blankets, sensory/fidget toys, play-doh, kinetic sand, stress balls, art supplies, books, journals, puzzles, pool noodles (to hit pillows/soft things when angry) and stuffed animals in the area. You can even put a “punching bag” or something it is okay to hit.

Your kids are ALLOWED to have emotions, and they will. They will have feelings. We all do. Feelings are normal. But you have a unique opportunity right now to teach them that feelings are not facts. That they can feel what they need to feel but they do not have to let those feelings control them. This is why the calm down area is great. You are teaching them self-regulation. It’s okay to be mad, frustrated, sad, lonely, anxious (etc), it is not okay to hit your sibling, yell at someone, throw something, lock yourself in a room (etc). When they are feeling overwhelmed, they can go to the calm down area (have a timer in there to help them with keeping time), and when they are ready, they can return to their normal activities.

Second: Affirmation(s). When you ask your children questions about how they are feeling, affirm their feelings. Remind them that its normal to be feeling a lot of different things right now and that they are not alone. Explain that feelings are not facts and sometimes our feelings lie to us, they tell us things like “Nothing will ever get better,” but we know that is a distortion (thinking in absolutes (all or nothing thinking). Remind them that it can feel that way, but we know that eventually things will change, and things will get better.

Five questions to ask:

1.      How can I help you?

2.      What do you need?

3.      What would make you feel better?

4.      Are you hungry, tired or bored?

5.      Have you been creative, active, and helpful? And have you had any quiet time to rest your body and mind?

These questions require them to think, process and give answers that provide insight into their emotions. If they respond, “I don’t know…” you can always follow up with, “That sounds really frustrating, can I help you figure it out, or would you like some time to think about it?”

Third: Resolution(s). No one likes feeling dysregulated, especially children. They often become frustrated because they don’t have the words to explain how they are feeling. Or they are afraid that it will upset you when they tell you how they are feeling.

Offer 5 minutes of unfiltered talk time. During this time, you cannot judge, criticize, comment or  offer feedback. They get to say whatever they need to say without consequence(s). At first this will feel odd, but it will open up healthy lines of communication and allow your children a safe space to be heard and understood. When the time is up you can follow up with, “Thank you for sharing all of that. Is there anything I can help you with that you would like to talk about more?” This way you are not only modeling active listening skills, but you are also providing them with the ability to ask for help when needed or to be autonomous and figure their own solutions.

Fourth: Empathy. Modeling empathy for our children looks like us leaning into the difficult conversations or utilizing our playtime to engage them to express their feelings.

Puppets, stuffed animals or dolls are great for role play, and when utilized often do not face the same barriers a face-to-face conversation would. When children are playing it is much easier for them to portray how they are feeling. If your children are too old for this type of play, you can always ask them to play their new favorite song for you or write a short story/poem or comic strip about a character who is going through pandemic life. It will give you great insight and allow you to connect with them on an entirely new level.

Once you are aware of how they are feeling, help them understand that these feelings are normal. You can share how you are feeling too, just make sure to convey that this is about them. “I am so sorry that you are going through this. I imagine this must be very scary for you. I am here if you want to talk more about it. I don’t know exactly how you are feeling, but there are times (insert role) mommy is scared too, so I know it is not fun to feel this way. I am always here if I can help in any way. Do you want to talk about some of the things that scare you?”

Remember, empathy is about connection and understanding someone’s feelings. It is not about feeling sorry for that person, or even knowing exactly how they feel. It is you trying to put yourself into their shoes. As adults, we don’t know exactly how they are feeling. This is the first time in my life that I have ever experienced anything like this, and I am an adult. I imagine this must be very scary and frustrating to our youth, especially all of those who are missing major life events because of it.

At the end of the day, the best thing we can do for our kids is show them that we CARE (connection, affirmation, resolution and empathy). It is not about having all the tools and techniques, though they are helpful. It is not about having all the answers, because no one does. It is about caring for them and how they are feeling. Showing them that we are there for them and allowing them space to feel and process. Our kids see how we are responding to all of this and they learn through modeled behavior. When you are taking care of yourself and them, they will see its okay to feel their feelings, but that their feelings to not need to dictate how they live.

A Letter From A Therapist...

This is a time like no other. We are all facing uncharted territory and trying to stay afloat amidst a chaotic sea of doubt, fear, worry, panic and isolation. We are told to refrain from connection (person-to-person contact), which is so life-giving to so many. We can no longer walk trails or beaches, which provides an outlet for nature lovers and reprieve from the constant day-to-day stressors. We are not allowed to gather with family, friends, our churches. Many have lost their jobs. Kids are not allowed to go to school. There are shortages everywhere. The medical community continues to cry out for us to stay home, and many of them feel as though they are sinking.

We have never seen this before. We have never known this particular struggle. Many of us were completely blindsided; not because others knew this was coming, but because most of us never thought something like this would. As I sit here and write this, I am still trying to reconcile all that is going on.

Virus— Pandemic— No Cure— Shortages— Isolation— Loss— Grief

As a therapist I can tell you that no two days are alike for me either. That’s what grief does to you. Some days you have reached acceptance, and others you face denial or bargaining; others still, you are angry or depressed. Some days I can go about, and it almost appears as though nothing is out of sorts, nothing from the outside world can penetrate the bubble of safety I have created in my home. Other days I grieve deeply. For the loss of human life, the loss of financial security, the loss of physical/emotional safety, the loss of consistent meals for so many, families being separated, the loss of large events like graduations and weddings, the loss of plans, the loss of aspirations and dreams, the loss of freedoms we so often took for granted. I grieve for these losses so deeply and my heart aches as I pray for a cure; I pray for total healing and restoration. As I navigate through this with my clients, I can’t help but feel that things are different right now. Many of my sessions, like most others I assume, are about what we are experiencing. There is a loss for words, and silence has become more normal in sessions. But even in that silence I hold hope.

You see, the only thing bigger than fear is faith. And I have faith that we will pull through this. Not unscathed. Not unchanged. Not without exponential loss. Not without grief.

But we will pull through.

I am not only holding hope for my clients anymore, I am also holding it for myself, my family, my friends, my faith community, other clinicians… I feel like I often hold hope for everyone and anyone that needs me to. But I want you to know something, I am hurting too. I see you. I see the deep grievances you face, and it hurts me. I see the uncertainty as we meet through video sessions, and it pains me. I see the fear in your words through our correspondences and I worry for you.

I worry that I was not trained for this. I was not trained to walk you through a pandemic. I was not trained to know what to say, what to do, what to give you in this moment. And if I said I was, I would be lying. This is new to me too. Every day I am learning. Every day I am relying on my intuition and my knowledge to help me piece things together. Every day I remember why you might be feeling this way, why emotions might be magnified. And I ache for you. My heart breaks that you are facing triggers you haven’t in a long time. My heart breaks that anxiety is heightened and depression is magnified. My heart breaks that you have to face yet another tragedy, that you are walking through more trauma.

Please know, my heart breaks for you.

But I want to turn this around now, I want you to see all the things that I am seeing too. I want you to know my heart in this, because if we can’t be vulnerable now, I don’t know when we ever will be.

·         While I was not trained for this, I am here for you.

·         We are experiencing this trauma together, so like I always tell you, everyone’s trauma threshold and response is different. You can lean on me.

·         I will always hold hope for you.

·         You will once again find hope for yourself.

·         This will not last forever.

·         We will get through this.

·         I know you feel stuck, and that your emotions are heightened right now, but you do have amazing new coping skills that you can utilize.

·         Feelings are not facts, and you know how to remind yourself of truths.

·         Your progress is not derailed.

·         Regression is a normal state of progress. Read that again.

 When we face uncertainties, we can often become disoriented; feeling as though we are not truly certain of anything but our fear. But fear is a liar. We are not held captive by fear unless we allow it to hold us captive. We can choose to see things differently. It is not always an easy choice to make, but you do have the power to do it.

I want to remind you (or equip you) of some coping skills you can use. I think its great for all of us to have these in our toolboxes.

Deep Breathing:

Find a quiet place, sit comfortably, close your eyes. Take a deep breath in through your nose for 5, hold for 6, and exhale through your mouth for 7. Repeat 3xs.

Grounding:

5 things you can see

4 things you can touch

3 things you can hear

2 things you can smell

1 thing you can taste

Mindfulness:

I want you to find a safe and comfortable space and either sit or lay down (it can either be in a quiet room or with your favorite music playing softly in the background). I want you to visualize a place of complete serenity. I want you to picture all the different colors you see, the landscape or place you are in, what does it look like? What can you touch? What can you hear? Is anyone with you or are you alone? What can you smell? What can you taste? I want you to visualize yourself in this space. I want you to feel yourself completely free of worries, fears and doubts. I want you to take some deep breaths and tell yourself you are safe. You can stay in this place for however long you would like. When you are ready you can open your eyes.

Follow up activity: find a picture or create a picture that reminds you of this place and hang it somewhere you will see it often and be reminded that you can utilize mindfulness to reset and feel safe again.

Other effective coping skills:

·         Healthy sleep and eating

·         Journaling

·         Being creative

·         Connecting (phone/video/email/text) with people you love

·         Exercise (wear a mask outdoors or find fun stuff to do inside, dance parties are awesome!)

·         Read a good book/listen to music/watch your favorite movie/tv show

·         Practice self-care (a warm shower/bath, spa day at home, a cup of coffee with the fireplace on…this can be anything that is healthy for you and makes you feel good).

Above all what I hope this message conveyed to you, is that you are not alone. We are all in this together, and that there will always be people who care and want to hold hope for you. I would be lying if I said this was easy, and I wanted to share my heart today and let you know I am worried too. But what I also know is that worry is like a rocking chair, we go back and forth but we never get anywhere. Its okay to sit in the chair sometimes, because sometimes we just need to acknowledge our worries. But worrying can not add anything to your life, it just takes all the good things away. I needed you to know that I have been spending time in this chair too, and that it is normal. I do not want you to judge yourself right now (or ever really). I want you to acknowledge your feelings. To be present. To be mindful. I want you to practice your coping skills and self-care. I want you to reach out. But more than anything, I want you to be well. I want you to be safe. I want you to be thriving.

There is so much pain and heartache right now, but there is also so much hope and healing taking place. I see it all around me too. I see people connecting in ways they haven’t before, faith becoming stronger, communities pulling together while distanced. I see people doing the hard thing and staying home, staying away from those they love BECAUSE they love them. I see all the “essential” workers and that they continue to show up and be present for us all. While we might be distanced physically, I am not sure we have ever been closer emotionally.

To whomever needs to hear this right now, I want you to know you are loved, valued, treasured and cherished. Your life matters. You have a purpose greater than you know, and there are people who deeply care about you and your well-being.

Its okay to be tired. Its okay not to have a schedule. Its okay to eat ice cream for dinner (maybe not all the time 😉). Its okay to do nothing. Its okay to stay busy. Its okay to talk on the phone. Its okay to ignore a phone call. Right now, in this moment, I want you to give yourself permission to do a self-check-in and to write down everything you have been holding inside. Then drop your shoulders, breathe deeply and release the tension.

Remember this, it is always one day at a time, but sometimes we have to take it moment by moment too.

This is new. This is scary. But I see you. I hear you. I feel you. And we are in this together.

Lovingly,

Melani Samples

What COVID-19 has given us: opportunity amidst the chaos, and tangible ways to deal with negative emotions.

Here we are… trying to reconcile something most of us probably never considered as a “worst case scenario” possibility.

As I try to grasp what COVID-19 is doing, not only on an individual basis, but nationally and globally, the most difficult part for me has been to see the destruction it is causing through panic and fear. I ache for those who have the diagnosis, for those who have lost their lives due to this outbreak. My heart hurts for our entire world. Being an empath in these times can truly drain you of life in a way nothing else ever could.

I am watching as the world is turned upside down. As people hoard and take on individualistic mindsets. But you know what else I see, faith overcoming fear. I see communities pulling together and meeting the needs of those who are without. I see neighbors helping neighbors. I see people posting about something extra they may have, willing to share because its the right thing to do. I see opportunity too. I see the ability to focus on the things most of us (including myself) have taken for granted. The ease at which we have things available to us, how reliant we have become on instant gratification (need something, order it on amazon and it can be here in 2 hours), the ability to drop our children off at school and know they are cared for and receiving a good education (thank you could never be enough to our incredible teachers and staff), how used to our daily freedoms we are, how much we rely on our medical system… these are just to name a few.

Over the course of the last two weeks we have seen such a drastic change in our every day living. But maybe the silver lining in all of this chaos is the things we do get to focus on, the opportunities we have:

• Jesus said: Love your neighbor (Mark 12:31).

This has created the perfect opportunity to help those in need. To check on people, put ourselves aside and focus on helping in ways that we can. Loving them as Jesus would.

• Jesus said: to care for those who cannot care for themselves (Proverbs 31:8-9, Proverbs 3: 27-28).

We have a unique opportunity to be advocates for the least of us at this time. To find ways to give back to our communities and come together, united, even through this separation.

• Jesus said: Rely on Him for everything. (Philippians 4:19, Matthew 6:26-34)

I know this is difficult to see tangibly with people out of work, schools closed, and everything being on hold, but I believe firmly that God wants us to rely fully on Him for ALL of our needs. And that He will place people in our lives that can help make up deficits if we trust in Him.

Seeing this all unfold has truly been surreal. But it has created opportunities to make the most of life. Once again showing us that everything here is temporal. It has allowed us to spend time with our kids, connect as families, make meals at home (we are making grilled cheese tonight, nothing fancy here), take an active part in their educations, reach out for help (because we all need it), focus on our communities and connect in creative ways, helping others, and turning our eyes to Jesus, our Savior and Redeemer. I believe that He doesn’t orchestrate the bad, but He uses everything for His good. While I have witnessed some bad through this, I have seen so much good. People reflecting His light and love, and that brings peace.

If you are struggling today, here are some ways you can help ease your anxiety/worry/fear.

1. Practice deep breathing: in for 5, hold for 6, out for 7. Repeat at least 3xs or up to 60 seconds.

2. Exercise: do yoga, go on a walk (maintain social distancing), have a dance party, do a relay race in your house… just be active.

3. Get creative: listen to some music and sing along (singing reduces stress and releases all those wonderful feel good hormones! no one is judging you ;) ), draw or paint, journal or write, read a good book, play an instrument, make something.

4. Practice Mindfulness and Grounding: In your room (if its familiar) close your eyes and list the following: 5 things you know you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste.

5. Share kindness and love: doing something good for someone else reduces stress

6. Practice good sleep hygiene: maintain a normal schedule, create a relaxing bedtime ritual and make sure you are getting enough sleep.

7. Eat mindfully: even if it is grilled cheese and canned veggies, you can still make it fun and be fully present for the meal.

8. Feel your feelings: acknowledge how you are feeling, but don’t allow your feelings to control you. Feel them and release them like the waves of the ocean.

9. Connect: whether through facetime, text, email, social media, or whatever outlet you prefer, connect with people you love and share in how you are feeling. If you need to talk to a professional, a lot of therapists (including myself) are offering telehealth during this time for reduced rates.

10. Find the good: laugh, focus on the things that are good, and remind yourself that this too shall pass.

The most important thing to remember is that you are not alone. Even if we are socially isolated at this time, we are all in it together. People care, and they want to be there in whatever ways they can be. You don’t have to face it all alone. This is a scary time, and it is okay to be scared. It is normal to feel a variety of emotions at this time, but dont lose sight of all the good. Remind yourself of any recent progress you have made. Focus on plans you have for the future. Make a bucket list. Have phone conversations with friends. Play with your kids. Do some spring cleaning. Most of all, remember that you are deeply loved, valued and treasured. You matter, and your life is important. This too shall pass.