Surviving and Thriving after someone was drunk driving...

Life can change in an instant. Twelve years ago, I took my son to spend the day with his Oma and Opa. To have a pool day in the heat of summer, and just let my sweet four-year-old enjoy every moment before it was time for me to go back to teaching, and for him to go back to preschool. The day was truly wonderful. Laughs galore, and memories that will forever live in our hearts. On the way home we stopped at Target to get a few needed items and made our way back to our house. The entire drive (from my parents to my home was about 15 minutes). It was barely 9pm at night. I remember looking to my left as I set my signal to exit the freeway, and my son asked, “momma, are we almost home.” I responded, “Yes baby, almost there.” And then, as if we were cast in a scene from final destination our world exploded. I can still hear my son’s blood-curdling scream. I tried to slam on my brakes while it felt like our car was ripped in half, I was screaming for my son, “baby, are you okay, are you okay baby,” all while trying to bring the car to a stop, but the brakes weren’t responding. My son was screaming for me. After what felt like a lifetime, I was able to slow the car down and come to a stop. My door was jammed by whatever happened and I had to slam my body into it in order to open the door. My son’s door was nonexistent, and I had to pull him over my seat to get him out of the car. I held him so tight, and we dropped to our knees. We were both crying, shaking and totally unaware of what had happened. A woman approached me and asked if we were okay, she must have registered that I was in shock and told me that she witnessed the whole thing and that we were hit by a drunk driver. She said the ambulance and police were on the way and asked if I needed anything. During the impact everything in the car was displaced and I couldn’t find my phone, so thankfully this beautiful soul allowed me to use her phone to call my husband and parents. We stood on the side of the road and saw my van literally smashed and totaled. We survived. My son had asked if he could sit in the very back on the way home and something stirred in my spirit and I told him no, that I didn’t want to move his seat, and it would be faster for him to stay sitting behind me. If he hadn’t been in the seat he was in, he wouldn’t be here today. There was no trunk or back row left. Our minivan was turned into a 4-seat sedan from the impact. In the distance I could see lights and the lady said that two men pulled over with their trucks and blocked the driver in because he was trying to leave. The police, firefighters and ambulance showed up but went to him first, it took about 20 minutes for them to make their way to us after they arrived. They said he didn’t suffer any injuries. They examined us; my sons face was bloody from being hit in the face by something in the car, but he was okay physically, aside from that. They cleaned him up and examined me. My blood pressure was dangerously high, and they wanted to take us by ambulance, but I was already so anxious and just wanted my husband to take us to the hospital. We were there for hours, and I had to sign a waiver to be released.

The police report predicted that he hit us going over 100mph. That on impact he spun out and went into the shoulder, thankfully avoiding all other vehicles, so, by the grace of God, it was just the two of us that were involved. He was 4xs over the legal limit for alcohol and high. When they walked him past us to put him in the police car near us, he was laughing and smiling and saying, “what happened, I’m fine, I can go home.” He had no idea what he had done. The next year would continue to create trauma as him and his attorney did everything to avoid any type of repercussion for his actions. All I wanted was for him to get help, he was only 21 at the time. My son and I sought counseling, which didn’t go too well for us at the time. It was horrible trying to get an appointment to begin with (we had Kaiser at the time), and the wait was long. The intake process and subsequent appointments were anything but helpful, and I began to do my own research on how to help my son. Unfortunately, I was also let go from my private teaching position because of physical limitations due to the accident. I had no idea what to do. I loved teaching and never thought that God might have different plans. As I learned more about play therapy, God put on my heart to pursue a counseling psychology degree. He took what the enemy meant for evil, and He turned it for good. I knew that I never wanted another family or child to go through what we went through when we were looking for help.

That accident happened twelve years ago, and while I live with chronic back and neck pain, and my son and I were both diagnosed with PTSD, panic disorder and generalized anxiety, I am beyond thankful that God had plans for our lives. Not everyone is able to walk away from these accidents. In the US alone, 29 people die every day due to intoxicated driving. That is 1 death every 50 minutes. Sadly only 1% of people who drive under the influence will ever face any kind of consequence for their actions. Twelve years later and we are still impacted by this “accident,” that could have so easily been avoided had this young man made a different decision. As crazy as it might sound, I thank God that he hit us and not a family in a smaller vehicle. That it was only us involved in that accident. And I still pray that he was able to turn his life around and find hope, help, and healing.

There are so many options these days. No one has to drive under the influence. And we need to do better and not allow others to engage in these behaviors. I am not sure what the answer is, but I know too many people personally that have suffered greatly because of drivers who are under the influence. There is help and hope. There are programs and people who care enough to help those struggling with addiction or risky behaviors.

When I look back at the picture I am transported to that moment, and while it is a moment I wish I could forget, its one that will be with me for the rest of my life. I am blessed to be here today. To have my son and to continue to share this testimony. The enemy meant to kill us that day, but God made beauty from the ashes.

This is part of my story. And it is what brought me to find my own help and healing. It allowed me to connect with wonderful colleagues and create a path for myself that allows me to help people every day. I am so honored and privileged to work with all my clients and to help them write stories they love for themselves. I know that life can change in an instant, and I do not take that for granted.

If you or someone you know is struggling call or text 988 or call 211 for local resources. There are also plenty of celebrate recovery programs, AA, and invitation to change programs.

A Letter From A Therapist...

This is a time like no other. We are all facing uncharted territory and trying to stay afloat amidst a chaotic sea of doubt, fear, worry, panic and isolation. We are told to refrain from connection (person-to-person contact), which is so life-giving to so many. We can no longer walk trails or beaches, which provides an outlet for nature lovers and reprieve from the constant day-to-day stressors. We are not allowed to gather with family, friends, our churches. Many have lost their jobs. Kids are not allowed to go to school. There are shortages everywhere. The medical community continues to cry out for us to stay home, and many of them feel as though they are sinking.

We have never seen this before. We have never known this particular struggle. Many of us were completely blindsided; not because others knew this was coming, but because most of us never thought something like this would. As I sit here and write this, I am still trying to reconcile all that is going on.

Virus— Pandemic— No Cure— Shortages— Isolation— Loss— Grief

As a therapist I can tell you that no two days are alike for me either. That’s what grief does to you. Some days you have reached acceptance, and others you face denial or bargaining; others still, you are angry or depressed. Some days I can go about, and it almost appears as though nothing is out of sorts, nothing from the outside world can penetrate the bubble of safety I have created in my home. Other days I grieve deeply. For the loss of human life, the loss of financial security, the loss of physical/emotional safety, the loss of consistent meals for so many, families being separated, the loss of large events like graduations and weddings, the loss of plans, the loss of aspirations and dreams, the loss of freedoms we so often took for granted. I grieve for these losses so deeply and my heart aches as I pray for a cure; I pray for total healing and restoration. As I navigate through this with my clients, I can’t help but feel that things are different right now. Many of my sessions, like most others I assume, are about what we are experiencing. There is a loss for words, and silence has become more normal in sessions. But even in that silence I hold hope.

You see, the only thing bigger than fear is faith. And I have faith that we will pull through this. Not unscathed. Not unchanged. Not without exponential loss. Not without grief.

But we will pull through.

I am not only holding hope for my clients anymore, I am also holding it for myself, my family, my friends, my faith community, other clinicians… I feel like I often hold hope for everyone and anyone that needs me to. But I want you to know something, I am hurting too. I see you. I see the deep grievances you face, and it hurts me. I see the uncertainty as we meet through video sessions, and it pains me. I see the fear in your words through our correspondences and I worry for you.

I worry that I was not trained for this. I was not trained to walk you through a pandemic. I was not trained to know what to say, what to do, what to give you in this moment. And if I said I was, I would be lying. This is new to me too. Every day I am learning. Every day I am relying on my intuition and my knowledge to help me piece things together. Every day I remember why you might be feeling this way, why emotions might be magnified. And I ache for you. My heart breaks that you are facing triggers you haven’t in a long time. My heart breaks that anxiety is heightened and depression is magnified. My heart breaks that you have to face yet another tragedy, that you are walking through more trauma.

Please know, my heart breaks for you.

But I want to turn this around now, I want you to see all the things that I am seeing too. I want you to know my heart in this, because if we can’t be vulnerable now, I don’t know when we ever will be.

·         While I was not trained for this, I am here for you.

·         We are experiencing this trauma together, so like I always tell you, everyone’s trauma threshold and response is different. You can lean on me.

·         I will always hold hope for you.

·         You will once again find hope for yourself.

·         This will not last forever.

·         We will get through this.

·         I know you feel stuck, and that your emotions are heightened right now, but you do have amazing new coping skills that you can utilize.

·         Feelings are not facts, and you know how to remind yourself of truths.

·         Your progress is not derailed.

·         Regression is a normal state of progress. Read that again.

 When we face uncertainties, we can often become disoriented; feeling as though we are not truly certain of anything but our fear. But fear is a liar. We are not held captive by fear unless we allow it to hold us captive. We can choose to see things differently. It is not always an easy choice to make, but you do have the power to do it.

I want to remind you (or equip you) of some coping skills you can use. I think its great for all of us to have these in our toolboxes.

Deep Breathing:

Find a quiet place, sit comfortably, close your eyes. Take a deep breath in through your nose for 5, hold for 6, and exhale through your mouth for 7. Repeat 3xs.

Grounding:

5 things you can see

4 things you can touch

3 things you can hear

2 things you can smell

1 thing you can taste

Mindfulness:

I want you to find a safe and comfortable space and either sit or lay down (it can either be in a quiet room or with your favorite music playing softly in the background). I want you to visualize a place of complete serenity. I want you to picture all the different colors you see, the landscape or place you are in, what does it look like? What can you touch? What can you hear? Is anyone with you or are you alone? What can you smell? What can you taste? I want you to visualize yourself in this space. I want you to feel yourself completely free of worries, fears and doubts. I want you to take some deep breaths and tell yourself you are safe. You can stay in this place for however long you would like. When you are ready you can open your eyes.

Follow up activity: find a picture or create a picture that reminds you of this place and hang it somewhere you will see it often and be reminded that you can utilize mindfulness to reset and feel safe again.

Other effective coping skills:

·         Healthy sleep and eating

·         Journaling

·         Being creative

·         Connecting (phone/video/email/text) with people you love

·         Exercise (wear a mask outdoors or find fun stuff to do inside, dance parties are awesome!)

·         Read a good book/listen to music/watch your favorite movie/tv show

·         Practice self-care (a warm shower/bath, spa day at home, a cup of coffee with the fireplace on…this can be anything that is healthy for you and makes you feel good).

Above all what I hope this message conveyed to you, is that you are not alone. We are all in this together, and that there will always be people who care and want to hold hope for you. I would be lying if I said this was easy, and I wanted to share my heart today and let you know I am worried too. But what I also know is that worry is like a rocking chair, we go back and forth but we never get anywhere. Its okay to sit in the chair sometimes, because sometimes we just need to acknowledge our worries. But worrying can not add anything to your life, it just takes all the good things away. I needed you to know that I have been spending time in this chair too, and that it is normal. I do not want you to judge yourself right now (or ever really). I want you to acknowledge your feelings. To be present. To be mindful. I want you to practice your coping skills and self-care. I want you to reach out. But more than anything, I want you to be well. I want you to be safe. I want you to be thriving.

There is so much pain and heartache right now, but there is also so much hope and healing taking place. I see it all around me too. I see people connecting in ways they haven’t before, faith becoming stronger, communities pulling together while distanced. I see people doing the hard thing and staying home, staying away from those they love BECAUSE they love them. I see all the “essential” workers and that they continue to show up and be present for us all. While we might be distanced physically, I am not sure we have ever been closer emotionally.

To whomever needs to hear this right now, I want you to know you are loved, valued, treasured and cherished. Your life matters. You have a purpose greater than you know, and there are people who deeply care about you and your well-being.

Its okay to be tired. Its okay not to have a schedule. Its okay to eat ice cream for dinner (maybe not all the time 😉). Its okay to do nothing. Its okay to stay busy. Its okay to talk on the phone. Its okay to ignore a phone call. Right now, in this moment, I want you to give yourself permission to do a self-check-in and to write down everything you have been holding inside. Then drop your shoulders, breathe deeply and release the tension.

Remember this, it is always one day at a time, but sometimes we have to take it moment by moment too.

This is new. This is scary. But I see you. I hear you. I feel you. And we are in this together.

Lovingly,

Melani Samples

A Day in the Life of Anxiety: My Personal Experience, part 2.

I am fine.

Walking through the weeks as though they are days, I find myself battling to keep up. The time goes by without any remembrance of what has come or what has gone, and I pass through life as though it were a time-lapse video, the scenery changes but I remain the same.

Discouraged to the point that I feel as though nothing will ever change, this new me, the one I so despise, this is the real me; it has been all along. The smiles and the laughs continue, no one even notices or bothers to ask. I hide my pain so well, and then blame those around me for not taking the time to help me pick up the shattered remnants of what I once was.

You look at me and simply see a woman; one who appears so very well put together. You see the accomplishments and the triumphs…you see the friends that surround me and the ability to carry myself in a manner that would make others want to be like me based on the vibrancy I put out into the world.

Inside I am dying.

My heart is racing, my mind is pacing-it never slows down. My thoughts overwhelm me, and I wonder if I will drown In my sea of doubts, fears and distortions.

Insomnia ridden, sleep eludes me.

But I push on. I tell myself that I have made it this far, so I push harder. If no one has noticed yet, they never will. I continue through the winding road called life, knowing that there will be turns and bumps that will knock me down. But, I don’t focus on that. My motions appear robotic to me, but at least I keep moving. If I acknowledge this turmoil it becomes real, and real is not something I can handle.

I am the woman you see every day, never questioning my emotional state or mental process, you just assume that I am fine (after all, its what I have led you to believe). Those three words, they often lead to death. When I tell you, “I am fine,” I am anything but fine. I am to the point that death; physical, mental, emotional…they all seem more appealing than this hell that I am living.

People say, “Just pray harder…” “take a cold shower…” “its all in your mind.” Do you think, just for a moment, that if there would be a way to change the way I am feeling in this moment, that I would have done it already?

I am a prisoner of my own mind. The coherent me is held captive by these destructive thoughts that wash over me like a raging river with no intention of keeping me above the water. I am struggling to find a way out, but the shore is not in sight and the current is too strong. I have tried grasping the branches, I have tried swimming to the side, the only thing left to do is wait it out and pray for calmer waters ahead. Nothing could ever prepare you to deal with this, unless you have gone through it already. It feels like there is no way out when you are in the midst of it, so you just have to let it be.

I do not need you to save me, if you attempted to rescue me, you would just get pulled into chaos that you cannot understand. What I need is someone to be there, for someone to say, “this is just a nightmare and it will be over soon” Please do not tell me what to do, or what to try, or, “I know how hard this is for you.” Do you really? Have you gone through hell and back? Have you thought, every single day for as long as you can remember that TODAY is the day you will die? Not wanting to celebrate the good because something bad will inevitably happen. Paying attention to every hospital just in case…

Have you wished you were dead, and at the same time feared you were dying?

The next time you tell someone, “its all in your head,” remember this, one day it could be in yours too. Mental illness does not discriminate. It is not picky and it can choose you. The next time you say to someone, “you are not depressed, you are just sad. Stop focusing on the negative all the time,” or, “you just freak yourself out, you think too much. It isn’t that bad. Maybe you just need to stop being so stressed, that’s what is causing all of your anxiety.” I want you to go look in the mirror and I want you to say to yourself, “thank you Lord that I do not struggle with these silent killers. Thank you for my health; physical, mental and emotional. And please Lord, help me to keep my mouth shut when I do not know what I am talking about.”

When you struggle with mental illness, every SINGLE DAY can be a battle. Anxiety, Panic Disorder, OCD, Depression… did you know they often occur together? Imagine THAT, not just one, but all coming to get you at the same time. Engulfed by despair and hopelessness that nothing will ever change, panic ridden over intrusive thoughts that are not conducive to life, and filled with anxiety for fear of the future, you battle hard just to keep your head above the water.

You keep saying, “I am fine, I am fine, I am fine…” but really, you are slowly drowning in a sea of people that keep telling you useless things to “snap you out of it.” You are shouting in your head, “It won’t work… I have tried that before… it only makes it worse…” But they keep saying the same things over and over again. THIS is mental illness, this is something you cannot fully understand unless you have walked a day in these shoes.

So the next time I say, “I am fine,” please think about what that could really mean, not just for me, but for the response you may have toward me. The only stigma that exists is the one we allow to circulate, I am not in need of saving, just understanding. And even if you don’t understand, it is nice to have someone to sit with through the storm.

I am battling hard, I struggle every day. Please do not judge a book by its cover, a smile hides SO many things. But smiling is so much easier than admitting the truth.

If you have gone through this, talk to someone. There are others who have gone through it too. Reach out, do not let one more day pass where you are engulfed. For what its worth, you can keep treading water. You can keep your head up, even if barely above the surface, and while you don’t need to be saved, there are people who have life preservers to throw to you; lifelines that will allow you to get back in the boat and find new ways to cope. Your life matters, your story matters and there are people who will understand.

I know I do.

*special note:

Everyone experiences mental illness differently. When I was in the pit of despair I wrote this way often, writing helped get it out of my head and I found calm. I also talked to someone. I went to therapy and I processed what was going on. I learned about my triggers, and I learned about how certain things are connected. I learned tools and techniques to manage my anxiety. There are days that are still hard, things that happen and my natural response is panic. But in those moments I have learned that I AM in control. I have learned how to take my life back, and I believe that you can too.

A Day in the Life of Anxiety: my personal experience.

Anxiety tells us:

We need to be perfect.

((but perfect is an illusion))

Get EVERYTHING done NOW.

Worry about the future.

Worry about death.

Worry about worry.

Try NOT to FOCUS on WORRY!

Worry some more.

You are not good enough...

You will NEVER be good enough :(

Time to go to bed...

A million thoughts... (Dang I forgot I needed to do that, Tomorrow I need to do..., I know that person doesn't like me. How can I make a difference in the world?)

Its 2 am already, now Ill only get 3 hours of sleep.

GO TO SLEEP.

***Heart racing, sweating, sit up, TRY to breath, dizzy, nervous, scared, tell yourself “youre okay,” overwhelmed,”

CANT ESCAPE

(alarm clock goes off)

Time to get up

SO tired

Must stay awake

DON’T drink coffee!!!

FOCUS

why cant you focus?

gosh, you're such a loser!

Why cant you just STOP this?

*person says “You just need to stop worrying so much.”

If only they knew :(

Today I have to (go to work, go to school, take 3 tests, finish 10 papers, repair relationships, SAVE the WORLD)

There is NO WAY I can do all of that.

***stress, anger, emotions, RETREAT, -breathe-, refocus, GO!, thoughts racing, a million ideas, slow down, need rest...

Have some “down time”

feel guilty about down time

Fill down time with SOMETHING

Frustrated that there is NEVER down time

Still have to (shower, read, call.., study.................)

Time for bed

WIDE AWAKE

The IRONY

((repeat))

I didn't always have this struggle. This deafening sound of defeat everywhere I go. Mine began, or had its onset, after a near death car accident. Suddenly I’m catapulted into the reality that death is lurking, time is fleeting, and everything has to get done NOW! The anxiety became part of my daily life. First I modified habits, checked in more with people, became ‘extra’ cautious, vowed to LOVE EVERY MINUTE. It didn't seem bad at FIRST, in fact, this new me seemed to appreciate life more, to understand reality better. But then the panic hit me. Like a ton of bricks, right in the face, at the most awkward time, and I literally thought I was dying. Not everyone thinks they are dying, but being confronted with death can do that to you.

Anxiety LIES to you! It starts out innocent enough and before you know it, it steals your sleep, changes your appetite, decreases your functioning, destroys your thoughts, and KILLS your joy. It is your ENEMY in so many ways. Suddenly you find yourself tired, fatigued, emotional, nervous; you have less desire to do things and you BEGIN to realize there MIGHT be a problem. But then anxiety lies AGAIN. It tells you that nothing will ever change, you will never get better, you're not strong enough, not good enough, and you don’t deserve it. And IF anxiety brings its evil stepsister, depression, then lack of motivation and hopelessness sets in and you begin to BELIEVE the lies. You begin to feel helpless. Your thoughts often overtake you, focusing becomes difficult, and you may begin to experience physical symptoms. Headaches, dizziness, heart racing or skipping beats, chest pain; a sense of overwhelming floods you and in that moment fear overtakes you. Its like being in a tunnel and all you see is a dim light that looks far away, but the blanket of darkness is closing in and it would be so much easier to give into the darkness than fight for the light. FIGHT ANYWAY.

There’s a small glimpse of the you that existed BEFORE the anxiety. It tells you to fight for the light. You have SOME control of your thoughts and you remind yourself that life wasn't ALWAYS this way. BUT its SO hard. A million things are vying for your attention and with all the noise in your head its hard to listen to the voice of reason, that is but a distant faint whisper. Anxiety tells you to worry. It tells you to question everything, including your own life and happiness. Anxiety wants you to work for perfection but reminds you that you will NEVER attain it, and then makes you feel GUILTY for your inabilities. Anxiety wants to fill all of your time, any moment you have; to keep you exhausted so it can keep you captive. Anxiety rules over every part of your life IF we allow it to. It changes us from the depths of our core, until all that remains are the shattered remnants of a person that once was.

A day in the life of anxiety is like a constant whirlwind of emotions; tumultuous, exhausting, maddening; a darkness that encompasses your very being.

A day in the life of anxiety is the constant struggle of hearing a world shouting so loud for you to be NORMAL, and the disillusion that you are everything BUT “normal.”

A day in the life of anxiety is like an ENDLESS cycle, you want so desperately to manage it, yet all anxiety allows you to focus on is your lack of control.

A day in the life of anxiety is exhausting, emotionally draining, and physically demanding. There often appears to be no end in sight, and your distorted thoughts confirm this.

NEVER enough.

NO control.

HAS to be perfect...wont EVER be perfect.

A day in the life of anxiety is one day too many to be lost in the broken pieces of a future masterpiece. Like the beginning of a mosaic, anxiety presents as shards of glass with no vision for a future work of art. But, with clarity, prayer, and professional guidance, you can STILL be a beautiful masterpiece--- we simply have to learn how to arrange the glass, and no longer be wounded by the lies and deception.

A day in the life of anxiety is so common for so many people, and yet we all think we are alone, because once again, anxiety isolates. We can stand united. You are not alone, your struggle is real, and its not SIMPLY WORRY. Anxiety can help you understand yourself better if you let it. One step at a time in the right direction, and it becomes clear that anxiety is often a NATURAL response to trauma or fear. Our fight or flight response might be stuck in hyper-vigilant mode, but there is help. Do not be fooled into believing that you are weak, abnormal, or broken. We ALL have struggles.

A day in the life of anxiety is simply a day that needs to be changed. Change can happen as long as you are ready and willing to fight.

A day in the life of anxiety can be a day of your past that strengthened the future you... The choice is yours to make...

Darkness or Light

Fear or Victory

Broken or Whole

Surrender or FIGHT.

Anxiety

Its not just worry, its not just something I can “get over,” it engulfs me; surrounds every part of my being and makes me feel trapped. It lies to me, tells me I am no good, I am a loser, I am pathetic, I will never be normal, I will never get better. It finds a way to isolate me, to keep me from the very things that will breathe life back into me. It slowly strangles me and kills my hope for a future. I sit there, often in the dark, wondering when this torture will end. I try to remind myself I have been down this road before; I have escaped this darkness many times, but each time it feels like its new. I try to rationalize with my irrational thoughts, but that is like trying to hold water in your hands, slowly everything else seeps away and all you are left with is emptiness. You are left aching, wishing for this to end but not sure if being hopeful for a better tomorrow is simply a fantasy that will never come into fruition. Sometimes it lasts for days, sometimes moments; either way I am lost in the process. You ask me for my triggers, but I don’t always know. There are times it all makes sense, times I can feel the monumental shift and how it grows inside of me; how I can sense the darkness rising and I do everything to try to escape it… but how do you escape your mind? How do you run away from your thoughts? My body just responds physically, it does what it is supposed to do in life or death situations, only that, sitting at a coffee shop with my friends and no imminent threat or danger present is not a life or death situation. My hands tremble, I begin to sweat, my heart is racing and feels like it is literally going to burst out of my chest; is this it? Am I dying for real? I try to take a sip of my drink and then I realize what an idiot I am for having coffee, WHY did I do that? I know it only exasperates my symptoms! I begin looking around, planning my escape; I see my friends laughing and sharing in conversation, oblivious to my impending meltdown. They are going to feel sorry for me, treat me different, worry about me. They won’t want to be my friends anymore. I am so weak. My thoughts are spiraling and all I want to do is scream. I know I need to focus on grounding myself. What can I see, what can I smell… oh no, they can sense something is wrong, did she just ask me something? I smile trying to fain that everything is okay, my friend gives me a half-hearted smile in return and mumbles something… focus, what can you touch… my other friend touches my arm, I am immobilized, what are they saying? I need to get out of here. I excuse myself and head to the restroom. I look in the mirror and I can see clearly the shell of a person. My face is white, my skin is glistening from the sweat that doesn’t make any sense. I splash water on my face, I take some deep breaths and I just take a moment to collect myself….

Anxiety and Panic are real for so many people. Statistically speaking, 31.1% of adults will experience an anxiety disorder at some point in their lives, along with 31.9% of adolescents (NIMH: www.nimh.nih.gov  ). Not everyone experiences severe or unexplained anxiety, and not everyone with anxiety experiences panic disorder; Anxiety manifests differently for each individual; Some can identify triggers and utilize more effective coping skills to help ease symptoms of anxiety, while others suffer in silence for years, never knowing if they ever had a time in their lives without this crippling disorder. Some common symptoms of anxiety are (NIMH: www.nimh.nih.gov):

Fatigue, sweating, restlessness, lack of concentration, intrusive and unwanted thoughts, irritability or hypervigilance, excessive worry or fear, insomnia, palpitations, nausea, etc.

You can also feel hopeless and helpless when struggling with anxiety and panic. But the situation is not hopeless, and you are not helpless. There are many forms of therapy that are beneficial in treating mild to severe forms of anxiety. Whether you are wanting to try to understand your anxiety fully and the root cause, or you are looking for something in the moment to help ease symptoms, a qualified therapist can guide you through the process and help work toward healing. Anxiety does not have to be debilitating or be a life-long struggle. Many people learn how to effectively cope and manage their anxiety. Our bodies were designed to experience anxiety in appropriate situations, and therapy can help you get back to a place where you are not experiencing unwanted and intrusive anxiety. If you are concerned you might be experiencing anxiety or panic, feel free to take this free inventory and reach out for a free phone consultation. I cannot promise you miracles, but I can promise someone who understands deeply and who will be there to help you walk through this difficult time in your life.

Assessment for adults:

https://www.gphealth.org/media/1087/anxiety.pdf

Assessment for children & adolescents:

http://www.midss.org/sites/default/files/scaredchild1.pdf (child report)

http://www.midss.org/sites/default/files/scaredparent1.pdf (parent report)

Always remember, there is hope and there is help. You can write the story you want to live.